Who is My Soulmate?
Make Your Compatibility List

Who is my soulmate, you ask? On the Law of Attraction and Love page, I mentioned that every time you saw a trait you didn't like in someone you were dating, you sent a "rocket of desire" to the Universe saying what you DID want for a love that IS compatible... and the Universe added that to the "vibrational escrow" of your ideal relationship, just waiting for you to line up with it.

So, WHO is my soulmate? Your soulmate is the person that embodies EVERY trait you've ever launched a rocket of desire to the Universe about!

Essentially, the Universe already knows what you want, but do you?

The first step to manifesting your soulmate is to KNOW what you want. And, no, you can't have Brad Pitt; he's taken. LOL. You can start manifesting your soulmate RIGHT NOW by creating your ideal compatibility list! Let the Law of Attraction find you love!

Plus, to discern the right guy from the wrong guy, one of the best pieces of dating advice I can give you is to make this relationship compatibility list and then see how your dates stand up to it as you go out and get to know them.

Having a "Who is My Soulmate" list and sticking to it will keep you on track towards finding compatibility with a GREAT match and keep you out of relationships that will make you unhappy.

Another benefit is that creating your "Who is My Soulmate" list sends laser-focused asking to the Universe. In other words, you could ask for a man who has plenty of free time to spend with you, but then you may end up with a man who is chronically unemployed!

The key is to be specific about what you want, and then in another section, we'll work on any resistance you might have to believing that you can have exactly that. You deserve to have true love with someone compatible!

dating advice for women

In her book, Are You the One for Me?, relationship expert Barbara De Angelis describes one of my favorite processes for creating a "Who is My Soulmate" list - categorize what you want in 10 different, but very important areas.

Make sure to write your "Who is My Soulmate" list down so that you can frequently look at it (as a way to make yourself feel good). It's best if you can type it up in a Microsoft Word document or something so you can revise it whenever you like.

Click here to Download a FREE Who Is My Soulmate Worksheet

Take about 30 minutes to sit someplace quiet and write down 5 to 10 or more qualities you want a compatible match to have for each category and I'll give you some examples for each:


  1. Physical Style: This is appearance, eating habits, personal hygiene, and exercise

    So, you might have under physical compatibility - exercises regularly, doesn't drink, smoke or do drugs, taller than 5' 8", cute/handsome (to me), cooks healthfully

  2. Emotional Compatibility: Attitude towards romance and affection, how he treats you, how he expresses feelings

    For example: Very affectionate, and ok with PDA (public displays of affection), supportive of me and my dreams, likes answering my questions, warm, caring, generous with his feelings

  3. Social Style: Personality traits and how he interacts with others.

    For example: Outgoing, likes socializing with friends, good sense of humor

  4. Intellectual Compatibility: Educational background, attitude towards learning, culture, and the world

    For example: Likes learning new things, enjoys going to museums, enjoys philosophical discussions, college educated a +

  5. Sexual Compatibility: attitude, skill, ability to enjoy

    For example: Loves my body, is a great kisser, very sensual, likes to cuddle, no hang-ups, takes direction well

  6. Communication Style: how he communicates and attitude towards communication

    For example: Very articulate, good writer – writes me sweet notes, texts and emails, loves to talk, and tells me what is going on inside him

  7. Professional/Financial Style: relationship with money, work and organizational habits

    For example: financially responsible, enjoys his career and is doing well, honest and ethical, ambitious and has goals, generous with himself and others

  8. Personal Growth Compatibility: attitude toward self-improvement, willingness to work on relationship

    For example: committed to learning about self, reads books, blogs, etc. about growth and relationships and implements them, makes concrete changes

  9. Spiritual Compatibility: attitude toward higher power, spiritual practices, philosophy of life, moral views

    For example: believes in god or the universe, meditates, optimistic outlook on life, believes in Law of Attraction

  10. Interests and Hobbies: For example, loves the same movies and tv and will watch and snuggle with me, loves to hike, eat out, walk, enjoy sunsets, and play in the ocean

Who is my soulmate? One way to be REALLY thorough is to look back at previous relationships and see what WASN'T compatible and then put the OPPOSITE on your compatibility list. So, if your last boyfriend was a morning person and you don't roll out of bed 'til noon, add "night person" to Social Style.

Notice here that something like their financial picture is only 10% of the entire list and the physical is also only 10% of the entire list. Also, if you have anything that is negative, you need to turn it into a positive. For example, "He is not a crazy driver" should become "The man who is my soulmate drives like I am precious cargo" and "He is not commitment phobic" should become "He is capable of being in a serious relationship with me".

Here is a sample of a Who Is My Soulmate List:

Physical Style
Dark hair
Clean shaven
Good build
Eats mostly healthfully and likes what I cook/cooks healthfully too
Doesn't drink, smoke or do drugs
Exercises regularly
Cute/handsome (to me) – when I look at him, I think "he's so beautiful"
Dresses nicely
Is in good health and takes care of his body
Likes to cuddle before bed

Emotional Style
Physical affection is his love language and he is VERY affectionate
Laughs out loud easily and often and especially at my jokes; I can easily make him laugh and he adds to it like my friends
Reassures me when I need that. Comforting.
Supportive of me and my dreams
Responsible, dependable, reliable, on time, keeps his word
Has worked thru his issues in therapy or other ways. Little to no baggage
Romantic and loves doing romantic things with and for me
Willing to work on the relationship if necessary and has done so in the past
In touch with his feelings and expresses them
Happy and positive. Loves life

Social Style
Outgoing, extroverted, social
Likes socializing with friends and does so regularly
Likes to dance and go dancing and will take me dancing
Night person
Understands media/pop culture references and adds to mine
Democrat or not into politics
Recycles and is eco-conscious
Likes to get out and do stuff; not just watch tv/movies all the time
Comfortable and acts appropriately when out in a group or with friends (not annoying or anti-social)
Spontaneous and willing to take risks

Intellectual Style
College educated or at least well rounded enough to have intelligent conversations
Likes learning new things
Likes new experiences
Likes to read and will read relationship books with me
Enjoys philosophical discussions and accepts my views

Sexual Compatibility
Loves my body – tells me I'm sexy
Is a great kisser – kisses the way I like ALL THE TIME
Wants to have sex as often as I do – similar libido
Takes the time to please me, takes as long as I need
Little or no inhibitions
Only wants to play with me (no threesomes or swing clubs)
Often likes to try different things/new things
Likes to cuddle before and after
Skilled/quick learner/takes direction well/does what I like
Gives me great massages the way I like

Communication Style
Loves having a conversation – good at give and take
Verbally articulate and has energy in his voice
Good writer – sends cards, writes me sweet notes and texts
Discusses problems calmly, writes feelings letters if necessary
Tells me what's going on inside him
Able to talk to him about anything
Listens to what I say, understands me, asks my opinion and takes it
Likes to talk on the phone
Calls me once or twice a day and tells me what he's been up to
Sends sweet texts too
Supportive of my personal growth work

Professional/Financial Style
Financially responsible (pays bills on time and spends within his means)
Hard/smart worker
Ambitious and has goals and actively pursues them
Neat and organized or has a housekeeper
Honest and ethical
Takes me out to dinner and to nice places and vacations
Generous with himself and me
Has a career he enjoys and plans to continue
Spends in a way I respect

Personal Growth Style
Committed to learning about himself
Reads books, blogs, etc. about growth and relationships and implements them
Sees own shortcomings and works on them
Likes discussing growth work
Makes changes I can see
Would discuss our problems and work on them with me
Interested in/uses alternative medicine, meditation, etc.

Spiritual Compatibility
Meditates at least occasionally or does something to go downstream and be in the vortex
Believes in the universe/we create our own reality/LOA
Open to the mystical
Knows it's his job to make himself happy regardless of conditions
Not overly religious, and preferably spiritual, not religious
Self-aware and conscious
On a similar spiritual path as I am - nothing is more important than that I feel good

Interests, Hobbies, etc.
The man who is my soulmate loves the same movies and tv and will watch and snuggle, loves to go hiking, biking, blading, ocean, beach, boogie boarding, dancing, museums, eating out, walking in beautiful places, watching sunsets, comedy, playing fun games, road trips, travel, great vacations, having fun with our friends, (not a sports watcher – prefers to do other activities with me)
Can cook and cooks healthfully, likes all kinds of food
Loves to travel and we travel together well
Has 0 children (or children are grown and independent), wants 0 children
0 pets, 0 pets at his place
Competent – can fix stuff or paint a room or at least change a light bulb without breaking something
Shares responsibility for chores

When you can get into a state of KNOWING that your ideal partner is going to show up and feeling soooo good about it, the Law of Attraction will bring you that relationship! And, the closer you come to attracting someone who meets most of the items on your relationship compatibility list, the more likely you will be able to stay together for the long haul.

But, we're not done yet! There are a few other things to add to your "Who is My Soulmate" list before we finalize it... you still need to add your love language, your must-haves and your deal breakers, and in another section, I'll show you how to find out if you've met the one you are truly compatible with so you'll no longer have to ask Who is My Soulmate...

Next up… There are Five Love Languages - Which One Are You?

dating advice for women

Return to the Top of the Who is My Soulmate Page

Return to the Lots of Dating Advice Home Page

Share this page:
Enjoy this page? Please pay it forward. Here's how...

Would you prefer to share this page with others by linking to it?

  1. Click on the HTML link code below.
  2. Copy and paste it, adding a note of your own, into your blog, a Web page, forums, a blog comment, your Facebook account, or anywhere that someone would find this page valuable.