What is the Law of Attraction? And What Does it Have to do With Dating Advice?

What is the Law of Attraction? You may have seen The Secret (the movie) or maybe you saw an episode on Oprah about the Law of Attraction ("LOA" for short) or maybe everyone you know has been talking about it lately. It's everywhere...

So, I'm just going to give you a little bit about what LOA is and what it ISN'T to get you up to speed. (If you want to learn even more about LOA there are plenty of resources on the resources and FAQ's page - link coming soon.)

So, what is the Law of Attraction? It's a universal law that essentially states that "you get what you focus on". Often, people state it as "you get what you think about", but in reality, it's more like "you get what you FEEL about". So, for example, if you complain a lot, you feel bad and get more to complain about and if you appreciate a lot, you feel good and you get more to appreciate. Simple.

But maybe you're saying "Hey, I saw The Secret DVD and I've been visualizing my dream guy and I even did a vision board for manifesting my soulmate and he's not here! What is the Law of Attraction? I'll tell you what it is -- it's just a bunch of BS!"

Ok, so let's actually break this down and explain the misconceptions and the missing pieces from The Secret Movie.

What is the Law of Attraction?

This universal law is actually three distinct steps:

Step 1: You ask for something. You do this every day whether you know it or not just by living in the real world. If you are dating a boyfriend who is rude to waiters, you automatically send a "rocket of desire" to the universe that says "I want to be with someone who is respectful of everyone, including me!".

Step 2: The Answer. This step is completely handled by the Universe and the Universe always says YES! Every time you make a request, the Universe creates what you want (including the awesome boyfriend) and keeps it for you in a sort of escrow account while it waits for you to allow it into your life. The original teachers of "what is Law of Attraction", Abraham-Hicks (link opens in a new window), call this your "vibrational escrow" or your "vibrational reality" or your "vortex". And EVERYTHING you've ever wanted is in there... just waiting for you to get to Step 3…

Step 3: Allow it into your life. Since everything you've ever wanted has already been manifested by the Universe, your job is to LET IT IN. You do this by feeling good, believing and knowing that what you want CAN and WILL happen, and (here are the pieces missing from The Secret DVD), releasing resistance, letting go of limiting beliefs, and taking inspired action to make it so (more about how to do this in another section - link coming soon!).

Alright, so I understand a little more of "what is Law of Attraction", but how does this LOA stuff fit in with dating advice? Well, I'm glad you asked.

If you've lived any life at all (and I'm guessing that you have if you are tech savvy enough to log onto the internet and you found this site!), what is Law of Attraction has been working in your favor and you have already been incrementally adding to the characteristics of your ideal guy in your vibrational escrow since before your first crush on Greg Brady!

Maybe you had a boyfriend who didn't call you every day or flirted with your friends so you launched a few "rockets of desire" to be with someone who made a point of talking to you daily just to hear your voice and only paid attention to you. And the universe heard ALL of your requests and now that awesome guy is just waiting for you to allow him to come to you.

Step 3 is where everyone gets stuck. If you watched The Secret, and the movie seemed to say that all you had to do was think of what you wanted and it would show up, I understand your frustration! The Secret DVD was "Manifestation 101" and you need a grad class.

Sure, you DO need to feel good to allow what you want into your life, but if you have doubts about it or you just sit home expecting your stuff to magically show up at your door, it's not gonna happen… well, unless you plan on dating the UPS man! LOL

The point of Step 3, the "allowing", is to release whatever resistance you have and to get into the place of feeling so good that you feel inspired to take action. You might feel inspired to join a dating website or a local club or just be at a coffee shop in your neighborhood at a certain time, where you might meet your guy.

What is Law of Attraction? It's about your focus. If you are constantly thinking or saying "Where is my guy?", you are focusing on "lack" and therefore, you will be getting more of "He's STILL not showing up" because THAT is what you are focusing on. AND, if you visualize or do processes and exercises IN ORDER to manifest what you want because you believe you don't have it, you are still focusing on "lack" and it won't work. If you can do a Law of Attraction or other dating advice process from my site simply for the goal of feeling good, not only will you feel better, but what you want will come to you.


What is the Law of Attraction? Here's an example of LOA from my own life: I was visualizing manifesting my soulmate (I like to call him Vibrational Escrow Man! It makes him sound like a superhero to me! Haha). I did what I could to feel good about all different areas of my life from work to my apartment in addition to feeling good about being with the man of my dreams (more in another section about what I did).

Not long after I started focusing on bringing in my VE Man, my roommate got a job running dating events (I know – even I didn't believe my luck!) and invited me to participate in a speed dating event for free. Talk about instant manifestation. Feeling good = free event to meet hot guys! So I went speed dating but I didn't meet anyone that night that I was excited about it, but, hey, I didn't want to "take score too soon" and I appreciated the opportunity the Universe sent to me. (More about "taking score too soon" later.)

Well, for participating in the speed dating event, I got a free month on a popular dating website. Nice. Then one day while I was at work I suddenly thought, "I should post a profile here since it's free after all". So, I posted a profile and also felt inspired to look through some of my matches and I found a guy who wrote part of his profile on "what is the Law of Attraction"! Cool! I sent him an email and he emailed back and was also very excited about me.

He turned out to be a great guy and he had a lot of "positive aspects" (things about him that I focused on and appreciated – more on that in another section) and we had some great dates together.

Thanks, Universe!

He was not the love of my life, but a great example of how focusing on feeling good and taking inspired action leads to good things - things that are REALLY close to EXACTLY what you want start showing up more and more in your experience. THAT is the Law of Attraction.

The point is that if you keep yourself positive and feeling good, you will be inspired to take action and that action will lead you to what you want. It is LAW.

Next up... Who is My Soulmate? Create Your Compatibility List

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