So you want to know how to attract a man, eh? Well, we've discussed previously what men want and that a man wants to feel that, by winning you, he has won something precious and wonderful... So, after you have completed your Who is My Soulmate List and written your true love soulmate story, ask yourself, "For a man like that to be captivated by me, what kind of woman would I have to be?" This question will then point you in the direction of how to make yourself "worth winning" and how to attract a man -- and not just any man, but the man of your dreams...
So, what kind of woman WOULD you have to be in order to have the fabulous man you desire? And, NO, the answer is NOT that you have to grow 5 inches, become a supermodel, drop 20 lbs, get plastic surgery or win the lottery!
In their book, How to Succeed with Men, David Copeland and Ron Louis share the answer on how to attract a man:
Men want to feel loved, acknowledged, and touched on a deep level. Men want to feel that their woman is a prize. If you make yourself a prize by being the kind of woman who has her own [personal] style and confidence, he'll find himself saying to his buddies, "She has a few extra pounds on her [or whatever], but you know, I'm thinking I kind of like women like that!"
So, you don't need to be totally different than you already are! You just need to have your own personal style and self confidence and make him feel like he has won a prize! (More on "Being Winnable" in another section -- Link coming soon!) Just as you might have paired down your ideal man list from "must be a millionaire" to "has a career he enjoys", you don't have to change who you are, but possibly, how you express who you are, in order to be a woman who knows how to attract a man.
A woman with personal style expresses herself and how she loves her life with the way she dresses and behaves. She values herself (but isn't "entitled" or "snobby"), has a life outside of her man and doesn't worry about rejection. She is someone who is considered "together", valuable, and worth winning. The Law of Attraction states that like attracts like so the more you value yourself, the more you will attract a man that values you as well.
OK, SO HOW DO YOU DO THAT?
One of the ways is to think about how you express yourself and your love of your life. Look over your list of your ideal man and ask yourself if YOU are those things. If you want to know how to attract a man who is kind, adventurous, and optimistic, what are you doing to nurture those qualities in yourself?
Even though opposites DO sometimes attract, you will get along better with someone who has more similarities to you than differences (you wouldn't want an unkind, stick in the mud, pessimist!).
So, in my above example, you could find ways to be extra kind to a coworker who needs help, go on a spontaneous kayaking trip to be more adventurous, and make a conscious effort to look on the bright side more often.
Also, what do you love? What are you passionate about? What do you do for fun? Are you taking time out of your life each week to do these things? A woman who has filled her life with things that make her happy, is considered "together". I'm not saying you should have all of your free time scheduled to the letter because then you will have no space for a man to come into your life. I'm just saying that a woman who knows how to make herself happy in various ways (without a man), is a woman who is magnetic!
I keep a list by computer of things I love that make me happy and I add them into my calendar each week, just like I would add an appointment.
Try this exercise... Write down 5 to 10 activities in each of the following categories (and here are some examples of each):
Things that give me a sense of peace, balance, harmony or serenity:
- Writing my journal
- Walking around the lake by my house
- A long, hot bath
- Keeping my desk organized
- Listening to the ocean
- Getting enough sleep
- A drive in the mountains
- Enjoying beautiful flowers in my neighborhood
- Enjoying the fragrance of rosemary, vanilla, lavender, roses
Things that give me a feeling of well-being, health, empowerment and/or strength:
- Visualizing my goals
- Weight lifting
- Eating well
- Drinking plenty of water
- Getting stuff done on my to-do list
- Listening to uplifting music
Things that give me an experience of fun, pleasure or enjoyment:
- Boogie boarding
- Movies - Comedies
- Laughing with friends
- Comedy clubs
- Reading at a bookstore or library
- Cooking for friends
- Playing Guitar Hero with my roommate
Ok, make your own lists now. Making time for at least one item in each category during your week will keep you more balanced, vibrant and happy -- and a woman who can take care of her own happiness is a woman who is "worth winning" and has the know how to attract a man.
Next up... Become Attractive -- Find Your Personal Style!
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