It's time to learn how to love yourself! Why? Because it's great to be a woman! Don't believe me? We have a lot going on for us! We're smart, funny, can multi-task, feel our emotions and look fabulous -- all before noon!
Sure, we have to deal with PMS and stretch marks, but for the most part, it's cool to be us, which is why you should celebrate it! And I don't mean in a "we are better and men are inferior" kind of way (They're not, btw! They are perfect just the way they are and we'll talk about that in another section - link coming soon!)
I just mean that you should celebrate how cool it is to be a woman, and how cool it is to be YOU by learning how to love yourself.
If you are looking for great dating advice on what men find attractive and how to attract "the one", take a look at gaining self confidence and self esteem, why you should have passion for your life, as well as personal style -- and all of this leads us to talking more about how to LOVE yourself.
You can't expect someone to love you if you don't know how to love yourself. If you don't think highly of yourself, you end up being a "people pleaser" because you'll worry that he'll leave you if you try to set good boundaries. And you will attract men that take advantage of that and treat you poorly, or have low self esteem themselves.
One of the best ways to boost self confidence and generate love for yourself is to write down a list of all the things that are great about YOU and why you deserve to have a great relationship with the man of your dreams -- and -- to read it regularly, even daily, until you BELIEVE IT! To quote an early 90's phrase, this is your "I'm all that and a bag of chips" list! LOL And, I can't emphasize enough that you should write it down so you can add to it and refer to it over and over!
By continually focusing on your own positive qualities, not only will you feel good about who you are and really learn how to love yourself, but you will attract a man who embodies many of the wonderful things you are describing, and who appreciates YOUR positive aspects and the amazing woman you are!
How to love yourself: start making your "I'm all that and a bag of chips" list by asking yourself these questions:
- What is special, unique and wonderful about me?
- What are my positive aspects?
- What do I appreciate about myself?
- What do I LOVE about myself?
- I already deserve a great relationship because...
But instead of just writing, "I'm a great cook," I want you to express that you LOVE yourself FOR IT by writing, "I LOVE myself because I'm a great cook." It might not seem like a big difference or maybe it sounds hokey, but it will seriously go a long way towards you not only loving yourself, but attracting other people around you who love you as well -- and not just family, friends and a great relationship, but co-workers too!
Here are some examples from my "I LOVE myself because I'm all that and a bag of chips" list:
- I LOVE myself because I’m sweet, nice and friendly.
- I LOVE myself because I’m honest, forthright and open.
- I LOVE myself because I’m loyal and trustworthy.
- I LOVE myself because I’m smart and conversational. I love nothing more than to hang out and talk and listen to someone and figure out what makes them tick.
- I LOVE myself because I'm a good and supportive friend.
- I LOVE myself because I'm warm, caring, loving and kind.
- I LOVE myself because I’m a great cook.
- I LOVE myself because I love the outdoors – hiking, camping, boogie-boarding, kayaking, beach, sunsets…
- I LOVE myself because I make my relationships my #1 priority.
- I LOVE myself because I’m funny and have a great sense of humor - I find humor in every situation and sometimes make my friends laugh so hard that milk comes out of their noses!
- I LOVE myself because I’m super affectionate – lots of kissing, cuddling, trading massages, etc.
- I LOVE myself because I have a great personality.
- I LOVE myself because I'm sexy!
- I LOVE myself because I have awesome hair!
- I LOVE myself because I love my lips!
- I LOVE myself because I am Theresalicious!!
When you re-read a list like this, can't you just feel how much you LOVE yourself and how much the love for yourself expands?!
A great exercise to get all this "how to love yourself business" to really sink in is to do a positive self talk exercise. Write your list on index cards and then read them out loud (or just to yourself if you can really get into it) while taking a walk someplace (I prefer nature, but any place will do). Read each one to yourself three times and really FEEL it. If you can REALLY get into the "I LOOOOVE MYSELF" part (even though it's a little bit silly!), you will begin to believe it and you will feel great!
How to love yourself, part two: A corollary to this exercise is to make a "Because I love myself, I (fill in the blank)..." list:
- Because I love myself, I take good care of my body.
- Because I love myself, I do things that make me feel happy, like taking a walk in nature.
- Because I love myself, I make sure I get enough sleep.
- Because I love myself, I set good boundaries with my time and energy.
- Because I love myself, I drink plenty of water each day.
- Because I love myself, I only maintain friendships that feel good to me.
- Because I love myself, I honor my need for sensuality and sexuality in a way that feeds my soul.
- Because I love myself, I only say positive things about my body.
These are also great to add to index cards and read aloud to yourself as you take a walk. And, they can be things you ASPIRE to. For example, if you want to take better care of your body with exercise, you could write, "Because I love myself, I really enjoy exercising for 30 minutes 3 times a week." As you read them over and over, you will begin to believe them, and as you begin to believe them, your mind will find a way to fit in that exercise because you said you were doing it because you talked about how to love yourself!
Try these "how to love yourself" exercises for a few days or weeks until they REALLY sink in. You will start to notice that not only are you gaining self confidence with this positive self talk, but you'll be attracting more love into your life -- AND -- you will be on your way to feeling so good that the man of your dreams will easily show up!
Next up... Create a Positive Body Image!
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