I turned him down because I already had plans. What do I do now?

by Samantha
(United States)

So I recently found out that my best friend's older brother likes me and has always had a little crush on me (yes my friend knows this and is OK with this... she was the one who suggested to me to talk to him. lol.)


While he was at the house the other day I started talking to him and told him I like him back. While we were talking he asked me if I would like to go out with him that day on a date. Sadly I turned him down because I had already made plans with my mom.

Anyways is it OK to ask him out on a date since he already asked me first and I turned him down? I'm so nervous lol and don't wanna do the wrong thing. I really like him! (:

Answer from Coach Theresa: Hi Samantha,

Yes, you can ask him out, but I would word it like this: "I'm really sorry I couldn't take you up on your offer to go out last Saturday because I already had plans with my mom. But I'd love to go out with you sometime. Do you have another day available this week that I can take you up on your offer?" That way, the ball is still in his court to take YOU out since he asked you to begin with.

Just a quick note in case you didn't know this, never cancel plans with someone like a friend or your mom just because a man asks you out. Men like to know that you have a life outside of them, so the next time someone asks you out and you already have plans, just say, "I would be happy to go out with you, but I already have plans that night. What about Friday or Sunday instead?" that way you can make plans on the spot and avoid the dilemma you are in now. And if he is the kind of guy who can't make future plans, don't bother with him because he will always string you along, waiting by the phone at the last minute.

And try your best to relax about it. Make a list of all the positive traits about yourself because you are probably a catch and there will a lucky man who dates you! I'm not saying to be arrogant or snobbish, but if you have confidence in yourself, it will translate to your dating and men LOVE a confident woman.

Also, it's good to have a few topics of conversation on hand like asking him what kind of movies he likes or sports he enjoys because YOU are essentially interviewing HIM to see if he is a match to you for future dates.

I wish you the best and have fun on your date! :-)

Happy dating,
Coach Theresa

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